21-year-old hosts 18+ Halloween party after her cousin's 6 and 9-year-old kids ruined the party last year, cousin calls her mean for excluding them: 'It wasn’t fair to punish them for being kids'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Oct 30, 2024 4:00 PM EDT

Halloween is one of those holidays with events incredibly segregated by age. If you're over 13, someone will yell at you for trick-or-treating. If you're younger than 21, you won't be allowed to enter a local bar's Halloween costume contest, where the grand prize is a whopping three drink tickets. If you're 19, you will be happily let into a frat Halloween party where the floor is sticky and the costumes are bare bones. If you're between 13 and 18, you're out of luck unless you've got a great local haunted house you can frequent. 

The point is, you shouldn't be surprised when you get rejected from trick-or-treating as a 27-year-old, and you shouldn't be offended when your elementary school-aged kids aren't allowed at a Halloween party with booze and no other kids. The latter was hard to accept for a mom who brought her kids to her cousin's adult Halloween party last year. 

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    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITAH for refusing to let my cousin's kids come to my Halloween party because they ruined last year's party?
    via u/that1girlnamedemily
  • 03
    So last year, I (21F) hosted a Halloween party at my house. It was a mix of adults and a few kids because my cousin "Jenna" (32F) insisted on bringing her two kids (6M and 9F) despite me saying it was mostly an adult event. I didn't want to cause drama, so I let her bring them.
    via u/that1girlnamedemily
  • 04
    Well, it turned into a disaster. The kids were running around all night, knocking things over, messing with the decorations, and even breaking a few things. The 6-year-old threw a tantrum when he didn't win a game, and the 9-year-old dumped candy all over the floor when she didn't like her costume. It was chaos. Several people left early because the vibe was just off with all the kid drama, and I didn't enjoy the party I had spent weeks planning.
    via u/that1girlnamedemily
  • 05
    This year, I'm planning another Halloween party, and I made it clear that it's adults-only. I even put it on the invitations that the event is 18+. Well, Jenna reached out a few days ago and asked if she could bring her kids again, saying they "had so much fun last year" and that they'd be "better this time."
    via u/that1girlnamedemily
  • 06
    I told her no, explaining that last year was really stressful and this time I want it to be just for adults. Jenna got really upset and said I was "being mean" by excluding her kids and that it wasn't fair to punish them for being kids. I explained again that I just want a different vibe this year, but she's still mad, saying I'm being r de and making her feel unwelcome. Now she's threatening not to come at all unless the kids are invited.
    via u/that1girlnamedemily
  • 07
    I honestly don't care if she doesn't come, but some of my family thinks I'm being harsh, saying it's just a Halloween party and that I should let it go. My husband is 100% on my side, though, and agrees that it's our party and we should set the rules. So, AITAH for telling her she can't bring her kids after what happened last year?
    via u/that1girlnamedemily
  • 08
    Revolutionary Diet686 • 17h ago ⚫ NTA Stop inviting Jenna so this will not be a problem.
    via u/RevolutionaryDiet686
  • 09
    Sad_Management2655 NTA, but why on earth did you invite her this year?
    via u/Sad_Management2655
  • 10
    PrideofCapetown I was wondering this too. $5 says Jenna's going to try and crash the party with her kids, but big win for OP if neither Jenna nor her brats show up. NTA. Jenna is more than welcome to throw a kids Halloween party at her own home
    via u/PrideofCapetown
  • 11
    Normal_Grand_4702 Or op can tell the relatives who sided with Jenna to host a party for Jenna and her kids.
    via u/Normal_Grand_4702
  • 12
    maroongrad • 12h ago • Make sure that all the guests understand that the front door stays locked and that the children are not allowed in. However, put a bag of candy outside the door with a guest. The "confused" guest should have the kids say "trick or treat" and give them candy. And act very confused as this is an adult party and there are people dressed as penises, vaginas, a condom outfit, and there are TWO -nurse outfits. The guest is SURE that this is an adult party. It needs to be a guest
    via u/maroongrad
  • 13
    Bojack TrashMan Honestly it's usually silly to invite somebody with a 6-year-old and a 9-year-old to an adults only Halloween party because they're 99.99% likely to be doing Halloween things with their kids. Jenna is mad because she is apparent and doesn't get to participate in the adults only fun because she has young children. She misses the days of going to parties instead of Trick or Treating I guess. Too freaking bad.
    via u/BojackTrashMan
  • 14
    According-Kiwi6403 NTA; your party, your rules. it's entirely normal to want a party with no kids, especially when you had such a hard time with them prior. your cousin can get a babysitter or stay home.
    via u/According-Kiwi6403
  • 15
    BurgerThyme Knock her back an extra peg and tell her that everybody at the party hated her kids and you spent half of the next day apologizing on their behalf. Shame her.
    via u/BurgerThyme
  • 16
    EnvironmentOk5610 NTA. But mentally get yourself ready for her to just show up with the kids. Since you have family members pressuring you, I think she'll count on you giving in. Maybe make 2 to-go bags with treats and put them by the door so you can hand them over the threshold & say "This is a grown ups party, bye guys, have fun trick or treating!" and just close the door on them.
    via u/EnvironmentOk5610
  • 17
    Acceptable-Net-154 It might take more effort than you time to do but aside from treats, check out the kids section of the cheap shop and add basically a few things that would be a parents worse nightmare. For example a small tub of slime/playdoh, a cheap but audible noise maker (a kuzoo, a clacker toy), stickers, mini face paints, cheap practical jokes. And layer up that bag carefully so that the toys are not noticeable.
    via u/Acceptable-Net-154
  • 18
    Time-Improvement6653 She belongs at a kids' party with her kids, making macaroni art with guests of equal social awareness. ΝΤΑ
    via u/Time-Improvement6653
  • 19
    Terrible_Unit 7931 NTA. It's an adult party. End of story. None of the activities or events planned are geared towards kids so they are going to be bored anyway. And being bored is probably why they acted out last year. Your cousin is right that they are just being kids, and as the PARENT of those kids she should freaking know better. She is just too cheap or lazy to get a sitter and wants to get some free babysitting where she can ignore her kids and enjoy the party
    via u/Terrible_Unit_7931
  • 20
    shammy_dammy You invited her again? Why?
    via u/shammy_dammy
  • 21
    that1girlnamedemily OP Honestly I didn't even mean to but I send the invite out on the same messenger group every year
    via u/that1girlnamedemily
  • 22
    Horror-Reveal7618 Did Jenna pay for the stuff her kids ruined? I suspect that, if she had, she wouldn't be so eager to bring them back. ΝΤΑ
    via u/Horror-Reveal7618

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